Only human
by The Musical CC
Summary: Saving Hans from being sold as a slave wasn't in Elsa and Kristoff's plans. But now that they have, both of them and Anna need to figure out what they're going to do with a pompous, back-stabbing, manipulative jerk, and rehabilitation seems out of question. Or doesn't it? Helsa/Iceburns.
1. Forfeit

**1. Forfeit**

_I still remember the sun  
Always warm on my back  
Somehow it seems colder now...  
_

Evanescence. Field of Innocence

* * *

With the voice of the merchant booming through the tent, Hans was finding it exceedingly hard to remember how it felt when each part of his body didn't hurt.

Well, except 'Hurt' would be putting it kindly. His body felt like he'd been split to pieces and then assembled again after being rubbed with salt and rolled over sharp corals. Hardly deserving of the price written on the price tag around his neck, but he guessed they were charging for his good looks. They _had_ made a remarkable job sparing his face, after all.

Still, to think he was being sold as a slave! Him! Prince Hans of the Southern Isles!

Or, just Hans now, he guessed; because having his body all but pulled apart by ropes, his back lashed, and being half-drowned, beaten half to death, pinched with needles, burn with red-hot steel, starved and dragged around like a mutt on a leash was proof, as if he still needed any, that he was not a prince anymore. Well, he couldn't get any more anti-prince-like than kneeling on the floor in the middle of the room in a bunch of rags that couldn't even cover the wounds on his flesh, his hands tied behind his back with a rope held by this stereotypically gorilla-like thug, could he? He half-wished he still cared.

Because initially he'd fought, bit, punched and kicked his tormentors, but his will had dried out pretty soon as he realized it only made things worse. That and it wasn't like he actually _could _escape or even defend himself. Any semblance of hope or perseverance he'd ever held was now replaced with listlessness and exhaustion.

So much that he didn't even look up when screams erupted on the room, when the hands that held his rope released it and fled for dear life, or when the cold wind sprinkled with snowflakes brushed through his hair, giving him chills.

What finally made him look up was the sound of his name after weeks of not being referred to with anything but insults.

"…Hans?"

* * *

Yes, Queen Elsa knew an attack of Ice Giants was most definitely NOT the best way to deal with slave merchants.

But the whole concept of depriving a human being of their freedom –for money, no less- made her so mad that when she was informed that a caravan of this _vermin _was seen upon the limits of Arandelle she couldn't help but heading there herself to give them the fright of their lives (And just a fright, even when she was disgusted by that kind of people, Elsa wouldn't dream of bringing real harm to them) but most of the court had spoken against it, deeming it too risky, too unfitting. Elsa had been tempted to freeze the ink inside their ink pots to prove a point on how she was anything but helpless, but Anna had won the matters for her by assigning her a protection, which happened to be coincidentally the one most likely to become her brother-in-law, Kristoff.

And it was Kristoff who'd pointed out at the man in the middle of the room and the chaos spurred by Elsa's Ice Giants, his face falling with shock, because he recognized him immediately, despite the fact that he looked more dead than alive, his hair was slightly longer, he was unshaved and dirty and his body was black and blue and angry hues of brownish-red. The former prince had looked up when Elsa betrayed herself in shock and uttered his name and given them an incredibly indifferent look.

"Queen Elsa" he said with a painfully hoarse voice and a frighteningly calm tone before dropping his head lazily again "Of course it's you. Out of all people, you would be the one to find me like this"

Kristoff made a motion towards him as if he were a piece of rotten carrot and asked in a hurried whisper what they were going to do with _that_. Elsa took a while to reply, trying to appear indifferent despite the fact that her eyes were tracing the markings on Hans body and try as she might to feel that he deserved it, she could only feel pity at their sight.

"Free him and send him home as soon as possible, the same as everyone else"

The anguishing sound of Hans trying to laugh made them squirm uncomfortably as he rose his head, just enough to pin his eyes on them with a sickly grin plastered to his sweaty face.

"Are you for real?" he managed out, incredulous. The Queen had the man who broke her little sister's heart and almost killed her at her mercy and of all things she was sparing his life?!

"I can understand how human decency surprises you, seeing as you are devoid of it" Elsa countered coldly.

"Oh, I'm so hurt I forgot to cry" he retorted flatly, letting his face fall to his chest again "Well, I guess it doesn't matter, it'll amount to the exact same result"

The last sentence was heavy with hidden meanings and neither of them could hold back the uneasiness it caused them.

"…what do you mean?" Kristoff ventured, and Hans seemed to consider whether to clarify or not for a few moments before speaking.

"Say, how do you figure I ended up here?"

Kristoff and Elsa exchanged a puzzled look, mentally numbering the possibilities.

"Oh, come ON" Hans cut their thoughts impatiently, interrupting himself with a cough before continuing "I'm not so sure about this oaf here but I know you aren't stupid, Queen Elsa"

"Hey!"

"Enough" Elsa said, raising a hand to appease a disgruntled Kristoff "We are not playing this game with you"

"It was the Royal Family"

They both stared at him in silent bewilderment.

"_What_?" Elsa hissed, breathless.

"My family. The Royal Family of the Southern Isles gave me away to the slave merchants, but I'm sure if you send me home they'll realize they shouldn't have feared staining their hands with my blood and finally do what they should have done from the beggi-"

"That's a lie!" Elsa snapped at him, a gust of cold wind slapping his face and it seemed to take him a moment to realize why she was reacting like this to his words, but he did "You expect us to believe your brothers, your father and mother, your own family would-?!"

"Oh- _ohhh_, right. True love, was it?" Hans mocked dryly, and then he turned and tried to spit in the ground to show his thoughts on it, but his mouth was dry. Why was he saying this? Exasperating Elsa wasn't a smart move in his situation. He could be very well throwing away what little chance he had to get away with his skin.

But perhaps he was just as tired of pretending as he was of everything else, even trying to stay alive sounded too much an effort.

"You're lying" Elsa insisted, albeit weakly. It felt too much like he was trying to earn their sympathy. She had been manipulated by him once, she wasn't about to fall for it twice.

Still...

"You're free to think whatever puts your pretty little head to rest" he continued in a barely audible voice, because suddenly even his own words seemed distant. Even the act of taking breaths felt like a titanic one and spots swam before his eyes like a multitude of flies. But among this haze he could see blue fabric, and legs bending and then Elsa's wary face, and he could hear the Ice Harvester (What was his name, anyway? He was sure he'd known it at some point) growling something in alarm. And then Elsa spoke.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Hans" her voice was low and heavy with threat "Was it really your family that did this to you?"

He hesitated for a moment, because he wasn't sure if it would bring him any good to accept it, but ended up nodding groggily, because suddenly he felt like he could throw up if he tried to speak and shock, disgust and oh, no, not _pity _of all things crossed her face.

"Oh, come on, this isn't any of our business!" Kristoff protested, despite the fact that he was looking down at Hans with the same shock and disgust and revoltingly raw pity as the Ice Queen "Let's just patch him up quickly and drop him on the next ship for the Southern Isles, I'm sure he can brainwash someone back home into—"

Hans hacked, trying to laugh and the noise suddenly made him fragile at the eyes of his enemies.

"I have no home. Never did"

* * *

**C.C (a) the author here. **

**Helsa.**

**FUCKING HELSA.**

**I barely finished one fic on them and BAM new plot bunny. I don't know, guys, this one looks like it could have at least five chapters, despite the fact that I want to keep it simple because otherwise it'll NEVER GET DONE, I KNOW MYSELF. **

**Either way, comments and reviews are welcome.**

**C.C, out.**


	2. Equal

**2. Equal**

_Goodbye to the kisses I gave until yesterday  
Goodbye, dear pain in my heart  
But that's OK, I'm somehow still living today  
Things like loneliness or past or rumors  
Desires or relatives or habits  
Starting tomorrow, they'll stop mattering  
"People will understand your feelings someday if you believe..."  
Don't joke with me, you don't really believe that, do you?_

_'Nowbody knows' by Shikao Suga_

* * *

Both Kristoff and Elsa knew telling Anna was possibly going to be the hardest part of the whole matter.

Scratch 'Possibly', it WAS the hardest part, hands down.

But in the end she ended up accepting there was nothing else they could have done. With Hans beaten to pulp, starved, weak and feverish and with possibly nowhere else to go, the only decent thing to do was exactly what they did.

That is, take him to the castle until he got better and the three of them figured out what they were going to do with him.

* * *

It was the fifth time that week, Hans thought, wrapping himself on the quilts because he couldn't stop shivering. The fifth time he'd had a fever that week and he still couldn't bring himself to care.

But something almost –key word being _almost_- did spark enough his curiosity to make him care and this was how private this captivity was being kept. He could hear the guard outside his door sneeze or snore or cough or whistle from time to time, but he had never seen his face. Hell, even the Ice Harvester (Kristian? Krusty?) hadn't set a foot into the room since then. Hans was kind of grateful that Anna hadn't either, though.

And then there was Elsa, whose face was the only one he'd seen since awakening inside that room (And why was he in a _room _and not a cell?) and was likely going to be the last face he ever saw, if his lack of recovery –not only that, he seemed to be getting worse by the day- went on. He vaguely remembered she'd said something about an infection; well, it was to be expected, what with the careless treatment of the merchants towards their goods. And it explained why he often woke up to her changing his bandages, looking at the gashes and bruises and burns on his skin, specially the skin of his back and sides, with pursed lips and a pessimistic countenance. She didn't seem to hold much hope of his recovery either, but what really puzzled Hans was how affected she seemed. Sure, he knew she was incredibly idealist, incredibly kind for someone with terrible power in more than one aspect, but he still couldn't grasp the fact that she seemed saddened by the fact that this man who would have cut her head without a second thought was dying.

As he slid into the edge between sleep and wakefulness, he mentally listed her visits, his sightings of her between fevers and sleep and vigil: Elsa gingerly washing his body with a sponge under the misty, pale light of morning. Elsa feeding him spoonfuls of hot soup. Elsa covering him with cold, wet cloths when the fever was so high that he all but felt fire sprouting from his wounds. Elsa pouring him water and helping him drink because his hands hadn't quite recovered the ability to function after the time they spent tied to his back. The glisten of her dress when she moved across the room. The clean, fresh smell of her skin when she approached him. The silvery hue of her hair, like the back of the hills on winter nights.

He hated her. He hated that she made herself the only contact with reality he'd have until he was finally dead and over with. He hated that he made him depend on her and only her. He hated how helpless he felt whenever she wasn't there to hand him over things or soothe his pain with medicines and ointments or just move at all.

But even so, he had become so accustomed to seeing her that even in her dreams she seemed to sneak in, but that was kind of a relief because otherwise he got fever-induced nightmares.

Yes, he remembered there was this one time when he was having a particularly horrible nightmare and then the dream changed, as dreams are known to do, and without warning he was back in the room and she was staring down at him, sitting by his bedside and then she'd cradled his head on her lap and _sang _to him, her cool hands refreshing his boiling head. And the voice he dreamt for her was beautiful and soothing, and he slid into yet another dream, this time a good one.

And with the memory of that voice emerging from within his haze, he finally fell asleep.

* * *

_But when he wakes up he does with a hoarse wail and it's because the pain is overwhelming and oh, how he regrets waking up (Or is he even awake? Because he's had nightmares that feel incredibly similar to this) He writhes on the bed, all but tearing off the wet towels over his skin in frustration, and spins his head around, only to catch a glimpse of Elsa's incredibly worried face. She looks like she might be sick and this somehow rubs him in a bad way. Has she ever seen a man die? Has she even faced mortal illness' incredibly ugly face? Her expression says she hasn't; oh, how easy it is to preach mercy and human decency and _true love _when one hasn't glanced at the utter madness and horror of human condition. So he sits up and tears off some bandages too and his nails scratch the wounds open and only then she finds the strength to go to him and try to stop his hands from doing any more damage. Blood seeps from one of his wounds and she stains her hands as she tries to place the bandages back and the sight of red over her ice gown makes him think of what he would have done to her and it makes him even wilder._

_ "I'm going to die" he hoarsely groans between pained wails, still squirming, and just as he utters it, it dawns on him that it's true, dream or not, he will die. _

_What does it matter?_

_ "Hans, calm down" Elsa tries, her voice strained with that disgusting _pity _she holds for him, pushing him down into the bed to no avail._

_"You and your whole kingdom will celebrate once I'm gone" he keeps spitting out, as if vomiting a poison that consumes his insides "You and your sister and that Ice Harvester what's-his-name and my father and brothers. All of you, happy to see me rot in a ditch"_

_"That is not true…!" she half-pleads, seeming genuinely mortified by his words._

_"Oh, isn't it?!" he sneers grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her to him until she's so close he can see the light freckles in her nose "So you mean to tell me you'd care if I died? That anyone at all would?"_

_She doesn't reply, but there is a slight, almost imperceptible movement in her features, a light twitch of her lids as if she were squinting to find a shape in something unidentifiable._

_"You can't, can you?" he releases her "Of course you can't. Why would they? Why would YOU?"_

_It's a legitimate question, because he's remembering how worried she seemed for the past days whenever she realized he wasn't getting better._

_But he breaks into a fit of coughing that stops him from continuing and she quaveringly reaches for the water jug only to freeze the liquid solid upon contact with the recipient. Her hand retrieves and she cradles it, as if burnt, lips pursing with displeasure, but he contemplates this during his fight for breath. She obviously didn't mean to do it but she can't help it because she's altered. This brings the memory of what these powers are capable of and it dawns on him that this girl could be the monster to end them all, because if she can be pretty dangerous without intending to, heaven knows what would happen should she ever actually intend to._

_And yet, Elsa has a sister and friends who'd miss her should anything happen to her._

_But if Elsa has the potential for being a monster, Hans not only has it, he USES it._

_And that's the reason why no one will cry for him once he dies. _

_He's finally stopped squirming, much to Elsa's visible relief._

_"Why would anyone care_…?"_ he whispers. His throat feels incredibly sore, and his whole body is trembling and he feels as weak as a child as he lets Elsa lay him down, her cold hands soothing against his feverish skin. The words stick to his throat until he finally manages to choke them out in a sob._

_"…Why was I even born?" he breathes out, and all of his rage evaporates and he's just a guy crying because he feels incredibly sorry for himself despite how pathetic that is and because despite everything he doesn't want to die yet. Elsa is beyond astonished. He covers his face with his forearms and turns away from her to avoid seeing the surprise turn to pity and cries his heart out and when he's finished he feels so exhausted that he can't keep his eyes open._

_But he feels a cold, small hand trace his wet cheeks and comb back his hair and a soothing voice telling him he's not going to die._

_"I won't let you die" she says in the edges of his sleep, her fingers drawing lines in his scalp._

_And Hans believes her._

* * *

He got better. It became undeniable once he began eating something besides the strong-smelling soup he, surprisingly enough, came to love during his illness. He was thin, pale, covered in healing wounds and still pretty much aphonic after coughing his lungs out for the past weeks, but definitely recovering.

And on this day where he had the satisfaction of filling his stomach with something solid for the first time in forever, Hans ventured the question in the croak his voice had become.

"Why?"

Elsa was picking up the tray, readying to leave, but left that unattended to look at him warily. He hadn't spoken to her since _that_ night, not a word, and she couldn't help but feeling grateful for that because there was only so much information about him she could process at a time.

"Pardon?" she inquired, cocking an eyebrow.

"Why wouldn't you let me die?" her expression became incredibly nervous at this and the thought that it was because she knew the real question under this one was the same he'd made back on that night crossed his mind.

'_Why would anyone care?'_

"Why do you want to know?" she said, trying to mask her uneasiness. He sneered slightly.

"Replying a question with another one it's a display of poor upbringing"

Come and gone, the uneasiness was replaced with a glare.

"Goodness, where are my manners?" she sharply retorts "Allow me to correct myself: That is none of your business"

He laughed, then cringed at the pain still residing in his ribs.

"Surely you'll agree that at the very least I deserve to know whether I'm being healed to be put to death later" she pinned him an incredibly scandalized look before replying coldly.

"However barbaric the Southern Isles' customs are, that is not how we do things in Arandelle"

"Really? _Barbaric_?"

"What would you call a Kingdom where even the Royal Family has deals with slave merchants?"

"So you did believe me!" Hans half-mocks, eyebrows raising.

"Well, I must. One of the guards of the caravan confirmed your story" however, her glance had gone from angry to puzzled. It was like she couldn't believe he'd said the truth and Hans supposed she had good reason. He had nothing to gain from lying in that case, but she didn't know that.

Her scrutinizing eyes on him were starting to feel heavy when she suddenly said something Hans was too distracted to understand.

"I'm sorry, what?" he said, feigning incredulity. She pursed her mouth as if having second thoughts on what she'd said, but repeated it nonetheless.

"I couldn't..." she averted her eyes for a second, but regained composture immediately "Let you die. I couldn't"

He chuckled humorlessly, thinking of the insulting emotion he'd often caught in her eyes since their encounter under the sales tent.

"Of course" he said, in a why-didn't-I-think-of-it-before tone "Pity, was it?"

"No" she snapped, catching him off-guard with her offended tone. Then she made a pause, breathed in, eyes closed, and continued, visibly reluctant "I couldn't let you die because of what you said when we found you. And..." she furrowed her brow "...and...because of what you said the other night"

This time he did laugh, despite the fact that it still hurt to do so. By the time he could stop, he was expecting her to be glaring knives at him but instead found a surprisingly –and unnerving- calm expression on her face that cut his laugh short.

"I'm sorry but, are you listening to yourself?" he wheezed "What did I ever do to deserve the indignity of being charged with the accusation of telling the truth?"

And yet his stomach was a knot, because she was still looking at him with a serenity he never thought he'd see in her.

"How do you know that wasn't just me trying to earn your sympathy?" he continued, smiling despite the panicked thoughts running rampage inside his head, lying the best he could because the sole thought of being reduced to sincerity (by her, no less!) was infuriating.

"No" she insisted gently and he realized something had shifted in her eyes "It was the truth"

"How do you know?!" he demanded, this time unable to feign the laughter. He was genuinely shocked. And scared. What was it exactly about the way she looked at him that had changed? He couldn't wrap his mind around it just yet.

She took another deep breath before answering.

"I know those words. They're not quite the same, but the essence remains. I have heard them before, lots of times, for a long time"

Hans didn't want to know. He was sure of it, and yet, when he realized pity was nowhere to be seen in her eyes anymore and there was something else on its place he couldn't just stay silent.

"You heard them from whom?" he breathlessly asked.

She made a hesitant pause, before running a hand through the platinum bangs on top of her head, disarranging them slightly. And then breathing deeply in defeat.

"…myself"

He then realized what was it that had installed in Elsa's eyes; she was looking at him like someone who once stood the same ground as him.

"It takes a liar to know another" she finished, with a pursed-lipped half-smile.

* * *

**CC (a) the author here.**

**I'd like to thank everyone. The first chapter got an incredible amount of support. I certainly wasn't expecting it! I hope the second chapter doesn't fall short to the expectatives. **

**Yes, yes, I know the idea of Hans having a complete breakdown is strange, but things the way they were it was just a matter of time until he did.**

**Comments and critiques are welcome.**


	3. Incorrigible

_And what do you think you'd ever say?  
I won't listen anyway…  
You don't know me,  
And I'll never be what you want me to be  
_

_"I'm still here" Johnny Rzeznik_

* * *

"So...sideburns of deception is recovering quickly, and don't misunderstand me, that's good, but what are we going to do with him?" a struggling to appear calm Kristoff asked, his worry betrayed by the fact that he was all but leaning forward, resting both hands over the mantle. Elsa and Anna, sitting next to each other on the round, small table, exchanged uncertain looks, turning back to Kristoff once they realized each had expected the other to reply "OK, so no idea" he said with a sigh.

"Why can't we just ship him off somewhere?" Anna suggested with a pout "I know his homeland is out of the question, but there are other places…preferably far away?"

"Hans is a criminal" Elsa countered "And not a common one at that. If it were any other noble exiled from his court that would be the obvious answer, but…" she trialed off, shrugging slightly. Both Anna and Kristoff knew how cautious she was being with Hans contacting anyone at all, since even the two of them and the guards in charge of his custody had been all but forbidden to see him or talk to him when he was first admitted at the castle. It had seemed as though Elsa were trying to shield them from him, her taking the whole responsibility over his possible actions or words. Only recently had she allowed Kai and Gerda, their trusty household leaders tend to his needs such as feeding and cleaning, accompanied by some guards.

"OK, I get it. We can't let a catastrophe like him run amok in an unsuspecting land" Anna nodded, scratching her ear pensively, her mouth twisted in deep thought.

"Soooo…he's stuck in Arandelle" Kristoff summed.

"More like Arandelle's stuck with him" Anna grumbled.

"Well, if he's a criminal, shouldn't he be sent to prison?" Kristoff suggested half-heartedly. Despite everything, what he had witnessed in the sales tent and, more importantly, what he had heard lit a minuscule flame of compassion inside him. He wouldn't touch Hans with a ten-meter pole but he wished no ill towards him.

"It's an option, I guess" Elsa said, seeming as reluctant as Kristoff to the idea "Except, again, this is Hans we're talking about and he seems past even _trying_ to appear likeable. He's closer to snake-tongued than silver-tongued these days"

Yes, Kai and Gerda had often reported on the unkindness of her guest. More than once had they had to stop a guard from slapping his mouth shut when his comments became too much for them to bear. They hadn't however, been specific on the subject of these comments, only that they had been incredibly rude. Elsa had her suspicions about it, but never really confirmed them since her visits had become less often and somehow Hans seemed to hold himself back in her presence, remaining incredibly dry in his attitude, but always within reasonable limits of politeness. She guessed he was trying to distance himself and couldn't blame him, even for herself the idea that she could understand his feelings was scary, which was exactly why she was doing the same, compensating her past openness with renewed formality.

Anna puffed the hair out of her eyes, claiming back her attention.

"Well, yeah" she agreed "I mean, little Prince Asshat—"

"Language, Anna" both Elsa and Kristoff protested mildly.

"Would get himself killed by an angry cell-mate in no time" she continued, unfazed.

"Also, according to the slave guard we captured, he isn't precisely the most passive of prisoners; he told how he'd had to beat him back to submission more than once"

Kristoff scoffed remembering the pitiful state they'd found him in.

"More than a dozen times, I'd say"

"Upon asking another prisoner, he admitted having seen Hans being beaten up regularly" Elsa said, her brow furrowing in disgust and rage at the captors "At least once a day, sometimes twice"

"Yes, but that is only up to him, whether he wants to be a pain in the—!"

"Anna"

"…neck to the guards and have them treat him badly, that is completely up to him!" she looked around, hoping for the approval of her audience. Kristoff shook his head.

"Asking that guy to be decent would be like asking a mutt to keep his tongue off himself. That's just the way he is"

This time it was Anna's turn to shake her head. Well, of course that was the way he was, which was precisely why their insistence in protecting him seemed ridiculous to her! In her opinion, what Hans needed was to learn a thing or two about what happens when you go about life doing whatever you please without taking other people in regard. She had the feeling both her sister and beloved were making a mistake by treating Hans so carefully, but said nothing, contenting with twisting her mouth in a pensive line again.

"I was thinking maybe community service would be fitting…" Elsa began, more towards herself than them.

"No" Kristoff hurriedly replied "You haven't heard what the people of Arandelle tell about him. Having tried to kill the Royal family doesn't precisely make him popular among the folk. He'd be lynched the moment he sets a foot in the street" the three of them shivered at the thought "…how about a private cell, then? No guards, just someone to tend to his necessities at certain hours"

"I'm starting to believe that is the only option left but…" Elsa stammered, embarrassed at her own weakness, and fumbled with her fingers slightly before continuing "…I just…wouldn't want to confine anyone to solitude…" she finished averting her eyes towards the window. Silence greeted her words.

"Oh, couldn't the trolls hex the jerk out of him so we can send him away or something?" Anna said, more out of frustration than anything.

"OK, now you're just being silly!" Kristoff said, rolling his eyes, despite the smile in his lips. Elsa, on the other hand, seemed to lighten up.

"Anna, you are a genius!" she exclaimed, getting to her feet.

"HUH?" both Anna and Kristoff produced in almost unison, eyebrows cocking.

"What was it that the trolls told you back when you two first met?" she was saying walking in circles around the room, her face intent with ideas.

"Um, I don't know, that he likes to tinkle in the woods?" Anna shrugged.

"OK, WOAH!" Kristoff embarrassedly yelped, much to Anna's amusement "How is that helping?"

"They said everyone was a fixer upper!" Elsa said, turning to see them "Everyone!"

This time it was Kristoff's turn to exchange a confused glance with Anna, before realization washed over them both, making his hand fly to his forehead in shock and disbelief and Anna's eyes widen in fright.

"You're not suggesting…" she nervously chuckled, raising both index fingers in a conciliatory way, but one look at her seemingly newly insane older sister told her that yes, of course she was suggesting. Her hands balled to fists at the sides of her body "Oh, no…no! Absolutely not! You have to be kidding us here because there's no way you could actually be suggesting that WE fix the bastard up!"

"It worked for me, right?" Elsa said calmly, not even bothering to call her out for the language.

"No—Elsa that was completely different! Your powers are something you were born with, but Hans chose being a manipulative, cruel, lying jerk! You tell her, Kristoff!"

The alluded, who'd been deep in thought, turned to see her with an uneasy look.

"Actually…" he started with a gulp.

"DAMN IT, NOT YOU TOO!"

"No, no, just hear me out, OK?" Kristoff continued, raising both hands in what he wished were a calming manner, though the fact that he was cowering made him think it probably wasn't "It's just I-I've have been taught that no one is completely bad at heart, you know? And, who knows, maybe we could-"

"I can't believe you guys!" Anna snapped, as if talking to two particularly snotty kids.

"Throw a little love their way and you'll bring out their best, Anna, that's what the trolls said" Elsa insisted.

"Oh, so now we're going to smother him in hugs until he stops being an ass, are we?!"

"He's alone in the world, Anna, and something makes me think he's been for a while now" Kristoff gingerly commented.

"Gee, I wonder why?" she pressed on.

"But what if this is consequence instead of cause?" Elsa asked.

Anna didn't dignify the question with a reply. Instead, she walked past both her insane sister and her insane and oh-in-such-a-sea-of-trouble beloved towards the door and opened it with such force none of them would have been surprised to see it torn from its hinges.

"The Trolls also said people don't really change" she stated and left, slamming the door shut.

* * *

Hans stared at the fresh clothes at the feet of his bed in disbelief and then at Kai, who'd put them there, and then at Elsa who stood by his bed, a guard behind her eyeing him as if expecting him to spring at the Queen.

'_Hell of good that'd do_' he though '_As if I'd be stupid enough to try anything when the only reason I'm still alive is her_'

Oh, irony.

"I'm sorry, come again?" he breathed.

"Change" she patiently obliged "We are going to the stables"

Well, she'd said it again, but he still couldn't believe that was actually what she'd said.

"Whatever for?" he inquired, suddenly wary, eyeing the guard and Kai. Not of her, he knew her to believe herself above treachery. But the question of what would happen to him now that the infection had finally receded completely had been plaguing his mind recently, and of course the most logical option was that he wouldn't be kept under her protection for much longer. This frightened him, he found, one of the ugly downsides of actually wanting to stay alive. Because he knew for a fact though Elsa was naïve enough to spare his life despite all he'd done, without her around he'd be dead within minutes. What if this visit to the stables was just a way to lure him into a cart to be taken away?

He hated how, even though he wasn't nearly dead anymore, he was still so stupidly dependent of her. He'd even needed her help to stand up the first times he'd done so since his recovery, much to his chagrin.

"The doctors have prescribed exercise for your full recovery so you will be taking half an hour rides on the hills surrounding Arandelle" she explained gently and somehow reassuringly. The thought that she'd realized his fears crossed his mind. But no, it was impossible. OK, so they had a few things in common, that didn't mean she could read his mind or something. He was unreadable, he was always one step ahead of everyone. There simply was no way someone (her, of all people, HER) could guess what was in his mind.

"With an armed escort, of course" he guessed, nodding to the guard behind her. The man glared at him as though he'd made him an insulting signal.

"Escort, yes, but not armed. Someone with the capacity to reduce you without weapons, should you try anything funny"

His eyebrows rose and he smirked.

"Oh, am I to be escorted by the Queen herself?"

The guard started violently at this, looking as though he were about to beat him. Elsa tensed up a bit.

"I'm afraid not, Hans. My incapacity to ride is only matched by my incapacity to dance"

He hated it, the condescending, impersonal way she was addressing him lately, the same she'd used upon their first meeting, back when he'd presented himself as his sister's fiancé. Who did she think she was? She couldn't waltz in one day and say she knew what he was going through and then act as though nothing had happened.

"Who then? Pig-cheeks here?" he motioned for Kai with a rude jerking of his head. Kai, already used to his pokes at his physical appearance, rolled his eyes.

"Further refrain from disrespecting my staff" Elsa retorted, scowling slightly.

'_Oh, look. Finally, a reaction_'

"Or is this trained monkey capable of putting down his sword if you feed him enough peanuts?" he continued, staring at the guard.

This time, Elsa herself had to physically restrain the man back.

"Say that to my face, pretty boy!" he roared, ignoring how his Queen was trying –and failing, Hans realized, looking at her feet being dragged forward with the man's body- to push him back.

"Tut-tut, compliments will get you nowhere with me, a monkey stays a monkey" Hans chided mockingly.

"Gentlemen-!" Elsa strangled out.

"Call me monkey one more time…" the guard growled, ignoring the scorch staining his uniform, product of the no doubt altered young Queen.

"Put a sword in my hand and I might just draw it out for you…on your backside, right under your furry tail" Hans retorted with a smirk, this was the most fun he'd had in weeks. By the time he'd finished saying that, Kai had joined Elsa's efforts to hold the guard back, with far much better results. She was indignantly squeaking something he didn't quite catch (She wasn't calling them sweet names, that much was for sure), to no avail.

"Keep talking, mutt!" the guard spat, now beyond furious "You think you can say whatever you please and then run and hide under Queen Elsa's skirts?"

"I would very much like to make my way in there, mind you, but pleasurable as it would be, it wouldn't do much good"

He didn't miss the scandalized, wide-eyed look she shot him, her mouth freezing mid-sentence and the ice covering the guard's clothes thickening visibly.

"I'll rip that viper tongue right out of your pretty mouth!" the guard menaced.

"Do your worst" Hans invited, arms open.

What happened next was, in so many ways, to confusing. Because suddenly the guard was being lifted off the ground like a kitten being scooped up by its mother, despite the fact that he looked like he was, at least, as tall as Hans, and moved away as if said mother were about to put it back in the basket were it had sneaked out from. It was so disconcerting that Hans fell silent, watching with a furrowed brow.

It was no mother cat, of course, but the Ice Harvester whose name kept escaping his memory.

"Looks like I'm going to have to keep him on a leash or he'll start barking around" the Ice Harvester said disapprovingly, letting the guard go, but placing himself firmly between him and Hans. Elsa, regaining poise as best as she could, brushed her hair back nervously and took a deep breath. The ice on the guard's uniform vaporized.

"This is Kristoff" she said, shooting Hans a look that could have very well made icicles dangle from his face "He will be your escort"

Hans took one look at him and tried to come up with a snark answer but the sudden contrast on height and build, coupled with the fact that Elsa's exact words about his escort before had been 'Someone who can reduce you without weapons' summoned an image directly from his childhood, rendering him speechless. That one time when Alexei, one of his older brothers, possibly the tallest and strongest of them all, even in his early teens, had made a joke about Hans's mother and he'd been innocent enough to believe righteousness and anger would make of them both David and Goliath and thrown himself, head-first, against the brute. The result was a bleeding nose, a swollen arm, a beaten stomach and him lying on the ground in a puddle of his own tears, completely humiliated, completely _useless_.

"What, no comment?" Kristoff said, cocking an eyebrow.

"I've had my fun for the day" Hans said, feigning nonchalance, despite the fact that he felt smaller than he had in years.

"Good. Behave yourself during the ride and I might decide not to have my kind of fun with you"

"Is the Queen leaving the room anytime soon so I can change or is she going to sit back and enjoy the show?"

This time Kristoff had to throw the guard out of the room.

* * *

By the time he returned to his room, followed by a much better shaped Kristoff he was covered in sweat, staggering in exhaustion and firmly set on falling asleep the moment he fell on his bed. Which was unfortunate, because Elsa was inside, sitting on a chair next to the bed, a book in her hands.

"My…two visits in one…day…" he panted trying to smile "What do I…owe…the honor?"

Elsa pinned him one of her freezing glares over the book and turned to Kristoff.

"How was the ride?" she asked.

"Oh, you know, his weak little legs had some troubles supporting him over the horse's back" Kristoff mockingly replied, earning a glare from Hans.

"I'm a…a little rusty, that's all" he said "You would be too…after almost a month of being either on…on your knees or sick in bed"

"Sure, sure, whatever you say…"

"Did he give you any trouble?" Elsa asked, unflinching.

"Nothing a good slap on the snout couldn't fix" Kristoff said with a smirk, patting Hans on the back with his bear-like strength, all but throwing him on the bed. The red-head mumbled something, muffled by the quilts.

"Very well, Kristoff. Thanks for everything, I'll be taking care now"

Kristoff nodded and took off, not without a suspiciously wide-smiled recommendation about the effects of hot water in sore muscles, directed to Hans. Once the door was closed, Elsa laid down her book on her lap.

"Now, if you would enlighten me on the reason of your misbehavior towards the guard earlier today…"

"Not now, I'm exhausted" he grumbled.

A rush of cold wind chilling his sweaty form made him all but jump out of the bed.

"Yes NOW" Elsa countered, glaring at him in a way that made him fear he'd be frozen solid if he didn't start speaking immediately.

"I do have a reputation of being a pig-headed jerk"

"Oh, believe me, I am well-aware of this"

"So why is it surprising if a jerk acts like one?"

"Surprising? Not in the least. What I wish to know is whatever prompted you into it, because even dogs need provoking before biting"

Come to think of it, it was a good question. What had it been? After all, his snark had come to be as a result of him being the runt of the litter, too young or too small to confront his older brothers physically. He'd more often than not end up mauled after unleashing his tongue on them, but if someone knew words still scar deep, that was him, and that satisfaction of knowing his words would remain with them longer than the bruises they'd inflicted on him made it all worth it. In his older years, he'd only unleashed it in the presence of those over which he held clear advantage or as a defense mechanism.

That day, however, he had been neither under attack or in advantage. So why?

"Well?" Elsa pressed.

With a shiver, Hans realized it had probably been the way she'd treated him as of late. Like she hadn't burst into his privacy and had the gull to put some of hers out there for him to peek at it.

'_I just wanted you to talk to me like you did before_'

He held her gaze, feigning calm.

'_But I'll sooner burst than admit that to you_'

"Are you sure it was what I said to the guard that bothered you?" he quickly deflected "Or was it the comment about getting under your skirts?"

He had the satisfaction of seeing her blush a furious crimson at this question, despite the fact that the room suddenly felt like the inside of a glacier. But when she got to her feet and walked to the door, he regretted saying it. What if her patience wore thin and she sent him away?

Why hadn't she already, though?

"What was all that about anyway?" he demanded as she reached for the doorknob "What are you people planning to do with me?" She paused, and seemed to consider whether to reply or not.

"I have no idea" she admitted, not looking at him "Kristoff and I thought we had figured something out, but…" she looked at him coldly "I guess Anna is right. People don't really change"

And she left, leaving him too puzzled to even ask what she meant.

* * *

**CC (a) the Author here.**

**Wow, this one was quite quick to write. **

**...it's really weird to write Anna being mad, but really, she has a point. As for the language thing, I have this headcanon that she's can't help but repeat whatever kind of expressions she hears around town because she's not used to them. Let's just assume she had a walk on the docks or something...OKNO**

**Also, douchey!Hans is incredibly fun to write, despite the fact that he's making himself look bad in front of the lady.**

**Comments and critiques are welcome!**


	4. Faith

_Just like the eagle does in its wings as it flies  
__As I do in freedom, I believe and I know  
That my world could very well fit in a pocket  
Love it, and forever make me believe in you_

_I believe in you  
Just like the sun believes in each sunrise  
Like in my own evolutions  
Like fear believes in courage  
I believe in you, my star, I believe in you  
_

_'Creo en ti' (I believe in you) Miguel Bosé_

* * *

"Sooo…how did it go?"

Elsa turned to look at her sister gingerly stepping into the balcony.

"Disastrous, as you probably know by now" she said softly, walking to her to conduct her back in-doors "Let's step inside, it's a bit cold"

'_Because I'm so fumed I might or might not have chilled the castle-grounds_'

Oh, irony.

"Kai did hint it hadn't exactly gone according to plan" Anna admitted as Elsa closed the doors behind them. Her sister hummed a humorless laugh before taking a seat next to her tea-table and resting her forehead in the back of her hands.

"What was I thinking?" she muttered.

"You weren't, DUH" Anna replied, sitting on the chair opposed to her sister's. It had been put there not so long before by Gerda, once it became obvious that the princesses weren't content with the scarce interaction they'd been having up 'till then.

"What am I going to do with him?"

"Neuter him. I've heard it works for aggressive dogs"

Elsa raised her eyes, lips thinning over her teeth.

"Anna, I-I am serious" she staggered, fighting the smile that wanted to form in her lips.

"So am I" Anna deadpanned. The battle for seriousness was lost without a shot. Both of them laughed themselves silly like they used to when they were younger.

"Perhaps I was being too pretentious" Elsa continued, once the laughter had receded "Trying to fix up someone who clearly has no interest in bettering himself"

"What, so he actually said it?" Anna retorted, incredulous. Elsa shook her head.

"Not really, but I can take a hint"

"OK, let's see, what did he say when you told him what you were up to?"

"I didn't"

Anna's face fell.

"What, for real?"

"Should I have?"

"Oh, my GOSH, you're incredible!" Anna heaved, her hand flying to her forehead in frustration.

"W-what? What did I do?"

Anna remained silent for a few seconds, glaring at her, before leaning forward slightly, as in conspiracy.

"Listen, Elsa, this is something you always end up doing and God, GOD, IS IT ANNOYING!" she rolled her eyes up and pressed her cheeks with both hands in a mock mask of despair "But I'm guessing it's not intentional, so hear me out"

Elsa awaited, eyes curious.

"You do things your way, right?" Anna started "And I guess being Queen and all I can't really blame you for it, but would it _kill_ you to tell the people involved in your decisions what you're up to instead of assuming everyone will accept them blindly because apparently you know better?"

Elsa mouthed for a few moments, unsure.

"I don't think I understand" she finally muttered.

"OK, make me say it. Back in the ice castle—" Elsa articulated a long groan, which Anna promptly ignored "I freaking climbed a mountain to find you. A freaking mountain. And not just any mountain, but the one with wolves and rocky climbs and precipices. And when I finally reached you, what did you do?"

Elsa was too mortified to even try to reply, so Anna replied herself.

"You sent me back without any real explanations"

"Wasn't the ice castle explanation enough, though?" Elsa sighed.

"What I wanted was an explanation on why my own sister spent years treating me as if I had the plague or something"

"I was just trying to protect you…" Elsa muttered, hardly noticing how the chair she was sitting in was starting to scorch. However, Anna did, so she reached out for her sister's hands and grabbed them with her own, warmness colliding with cold.

"I know that now" she said soothingly "But back then I didn't know what had happened when we were kids, or what the trolls had said about your powers, or how afraid mom and dad and you were that they were a curse rather than a gift"

Elsa pursed her mouth, remembering the years of pure _anguish _at the thought that she seemingly had been born for the purpose of destruction and nothing more, that she would never touch another human being again with her bare hands because she'd hurt them.

"All I wanted was my sister" Anna continued in a softer tone "And yet she kept pushing me away with no real explanation. And I sorta wondered whether she thought I was stupid and wouldn't understand-"

"No, no, of course not!"

"Or maybe there was no explanation and she just didn't want me around. All I knew is she kept rambling on how she didn't want to hurt me as if it were something bound to happen"

"I did hurt you…" Elsa replied.

'_And I almost killed you. Not once but twice or goodness knows how many times. I don't even know how many times you were in danger because of me during that time_'

The though made her try to pry her hands back, but Anna was having none of it.

"I'm OK, aren't I?" she stated, tightening her grip on her slightly, just enough to let her now she wasn't letting go.

"But-"

"Elsa, I'm OK. It was an accident, you didn't mean to hurt me and I know you won't again"

Her sister's eyes focused on her with wonder and the tiniest bit of amusement.

"How do you do that?" she said with a small chuckle.

"Do what?"

"Let bad things…go. So easily. Like they never happened"

Anna shook her head amusedly.

"Like they never happened? Of course not. Things happened, whether we like it or not. Like I can't change them anymore? Yes, otherwise I'd go crazy. Like I should learn from them instead of moping about them? Absolutely"

"May I learn to look at the past the way you do" Elsa said with a sigh "…even if that sounds like something the Trolls told you too"

"Aaaaanyway, weepy-story aside" Anna continued with suspicious hurry "You should know what I meant by now, right? I get it that we're bound to have comunication issues for a while, but you have to at least try to start reaching out for others too.! And if you really want to go on with this re-education of Hans, you need to tell him what your intentions are because chances are he's getting the wrong idea because you didn't bother explaining yourself"

"I understand" the eldest sister nodded, recovering her hands to rest her chin on her intertwined fingers with a pensive expression "...but…what if he plays us again by pretending to change just so we set him free?"

It surprised her a little to realize how much the thought unsettled her.

'_Because he and I are so alike in some aspects and if he is beyond help, then what will become of me?'_

"That does sound like one of his douche-moves…" Anna admitted, resting a finger on her chin pensively "But you can't honestly tell me you believed he could be changed with hug therapy or whatever in the morning and by now you don't believe he ever will"

"Good point" Elsa conceded softly, pursing her lips.

"Besides, if he is anything besides a cut-throat cretin, that is pragmatic. If you tell him your intentions are allowing him to start a new life, he might even like the idea, who knows? I still haven't figured whether jerks are happy being jerks, chances are they're not and he actually likes the idea of changing"

'_Except people who WANT to change do it themselves_'

'_Oh, just like I did, right?_'

"And, I mean, just think of how confused the guy must be by now, wondering whether you are testing new psychological torture forms on him or actually trying to help him"

Elsa cocked an eyebrow.

"Anna, are my ears deceiving me or are you defending Hans?"

"Ew, no. I'm supporting my big sister, that's all"

"…and?"

Anna fiddled with her fingers, a playful smile playing in her lips.

"…and I kinda could get used to the image of Kristoff tossing him around like a rag doll when he wants to talk smart to him"

* * *

'_Just knock_'

'_Easier said than done'_

Elsa ran a hand through her hair and forced herself to take another deep breath. A hesitant hand rose to knock at the door and then fell again. She pursed her lips, brow furrowed in displeasure.

'_Why do I even need to knock? This is my castle and he's a prisoner_'

'_For starters, because it's almost midnight and he's surely asleep by now, and also because that is not how I want to approach him and I know it_'

She took another deep breath.

'_Can't this wait until tomorrow, though?_'

'_By then I will have surely come up with a viable way of not doing it, so no, it can't_'

She exhaled, her breath drawing soft frosty designs on the door. Then with a rapid movement that ensured she wouldn't have the time to back up, she knocked.

'_Please stay asleep_'

"…wha-?" a groggy voice called from the other side of the door, followed by a yawn "…come in"

'_Of course you didn't_'

She squared her shoulders and entered the moonlit room, closing the door behind her.

"I figured it'd be you" Hans said in a sleep-hoarse, low voice before yawning again. He was sitting among the ruffled quilts, his bandaged torso barely surfacing from the cocoon he'd built for himself among them and the pillows. Elsa remembered the chill her temper had created earlier and guilt pricked her slightly "You're the only one who still knocks these days, even the servant-"

"You are also a fixer upper" Elsa hurried, wringing her hands and bracing for the fall.

He eyed her sideways, perhaps waiting for the punch-line of the joke; but when he saw her expression, he turned to her fully, both eyebrows rising in a surprisingly innocent –albeit sleepy- surprised gesture.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand" he said, his voice devoid of its usual bite. She'd obviously caught him off-guard and he didn't have any clever answers for that in store.

"Um, when Anna and Kristoff…" she saw his expression stiffen the tiniest bit and tried another start "…no, um, back when you first…" sensitive topic alert "Um, the trolls said…" did he even know trolls were real or would he take it as a joke? "You see, back when…when I…augh…" she trailed off, resting her fingertips to her forehead in mortification.

He looked just about as disconcerted as she felt. It finally occurred to her that she couldn't explain it to him as easily as she'd done with Anna and Kristoff and chided herself for not thinking of a way to explain it to outsiders before knocking.

"I want to help you" she said, summing it up. He blinked, one eye closing before the other, and switched posture, straightening up.

"Alright, I'm awake now. Excuse me, but, help me with _what_, exactly?"

"With bettering yourself" he rolled his eyes.

"I know that according to Kristoff I can't even ride but I told you already, I'm just rusty, normally I—"

"No, no, it's not that" Elsa insisted, her hands still wringing. The urge to leave the room and pretend it hadn't happened was crushing her "I mean…with…um…your…your behavior. With the way you act"

He blinked again, pondering and then there was a shift in the air around him. It was as if up to that moment he had been vulnerable and open by effect of the sleepiness and suddenly he went back to his usual demeanor. He nodded curtly, a smug expression filling his features.

"I could have known"

Something about the way he said it made her incredibly uneasy.

"Could have known?"

Hans chuckled humorlessly, slapping the bump under the quilts where his knee hid.

"Boy, was I in for it! You had me for a moment there, with the little speech about knowing my words and about it taking a liar to know another. Clever scheme you had there!"

Her brow furrowed. She was just barely catching his drift.

"Scheme? I'm sorry, but, are you implying-?"

"You know full well what I am implying" he dryly cut her "I can only consider myself insulted that you thought I'd be gullible enough to fall for it"

She frowned openly this time.

"You've got it wrong" she muttered, half-reluctantly, aware that she was slowly but surely icing the room. If only she could leave…!

'_Breathe. Control it_'

"No, _you_ got it wrong" he retorted "Uncovering my vulnerabilities, if any, and then use them against me? You are going against the master in that art, darling"

'_…did he just call me-?_'

"Why do you have to be so unpleasant?" she cried almost pleadingly. The floor under her feet started frosting over with pointy, menacing designs, snow started to fall from the ceiling "I'm only trying to help you—"

"Help me? That's rich!" he laughed, his voice heavy with badly dissimulated anger, his breath producing a white puff in the cool atmosphere "Just how stupid do you think I am? I tried to kill you! I would have killed you, hadn't your sister been there to freeze herself over right in the way of my sword!" a fierce wind was starting to pick up inside the room "You expect me to believe you would whole-heartedly help me?"

Elsa's eyes were stinging with angry tears, the memory of Anna's frozen form flashed in her mind with cruel vividness, as well as the knowledge that she did that to her. Instinctively, she reached her hand back for the door-handle, ready to spring out of the room.

'_Leave now and all is lost_'

The thought stopped her in her tracks, chest heaving, her own heartbeat loud in her ears.

'_I can't do this. I can't. Why did I ever think I could?_'

She shut her eyes furiously to stop the tears from falling.

'_I can't run away every time things get scary. Not anymore_'

"Masks off, shall we?" Hans suddenly offered, having to raise his voice over the wind; yet, he seemed to have rethought his attitude (Perhaps he had remembered the position he was in) and kept his tone within levels of urbanity "Call me what you may, but I do believe in paying my debts. Just tell me what you want in exchange for saving my life and I'll see to it. Knock it off with this 'Help' nonsense!"

"You have nothing to offer" she reminded him, internally cringing when he saw his expression stiffen at the truth, but she straightened up and continued in a regal tone "All you've ever had to offer is gone. You have no familiar affiliations nor personal posesions anymore. The only thing you still possess is your own person"

'_And even that is debatable_'

"...what would I demand from you if I know this full well?" she finished, raising both hands and them letting them fall to her sides, as if explaining something extremely simple to a child who doesn't understand it.

Hans stayed silent for once, averting his eyes, his slightly blue lips and weak shiver reminding Elsa that he was covered in nothing but bandages and a couple of quilts and she forced herself to take a couple of deep breaths to calm herself before she froze him to death. But as the wind faded into a peaceful snowfall it dawned at her why he couldn't find a reply.

The thought that someone could act without ulterior motives was too foreign for him to even consider it.

As well as the thought that someone actually _cared_.

'_And that much, the Snow Queen can relate to_'

"And that is exactly what I will ask of you" Elsa said softly "Your own person, as you are right now, in exchange for my help"

"My, my, is the Queen making me indecorous offers?" he weakly retorted, still not looking at her. Elsa felt her face redden, but continued all the same.

"Stop being intentionally dense, you know full well I don't mean that. I mean your own person, with the history you carry, with whatever loyalties you still hold and the darkness within you, in exchange for my help"

He absently twisted his mouth.

"…that's quite the high price, in my opinion. But more importantly, whatever will you do with that?"

"Fix it up"

He raised his eyes, geniune confusion washing over his features.

"Fix it?"

"Bring out the best"

"So what you are saying is in exchange for doing something for me, you want to keep doing things for me?"

"It doesn't work that way...this isn't exactly something I can just magically summon. You'll have to do most of the hard work yourself"

He shot her a glance that could very well be translated as 'One of us is crazy and this time it's not me'

"And how do you think that can be achieved" he asked flatly.

She pursed her lips, blushing again at the thought of explaining him how the trolls would put it. After all, Anna had been incredibly eloquent at how ridiculous the notion sounded even for her; surely, the less gentle Hans would greet it in even worse terms.

"...I will go into such details later, if you are interested" she finally conceded. By the time she'd finished speaking, the snowfall had stopped and the temperature was much less frigid. Hans was still shivering slightly, but a healthy reddish hue had replaced the blues and purples in the tip of his nose and lips.

"How do I know this isn't a trick?" he pressed.

'_Is it really that hard to believe? Well, for a master liar it must be_'

"I understand this why you would doubt my words" she continued, ever patient "But believe me, I really do want to help you"

"Why?" he snapped at her, eyeing her suspiciously "And don't give me that 'Human decency' speech again, I'm too old for fairy-tales"

She pursed her lips, resenting his tone. He had the chance to see something flash under her calm exterior, something familiar.

'_Because letting you sink would be like letting a part of myself sink_'

"Because" she slowly stated "Although you may doubt it…I do believe we are the same"

Surprisingly enough, he didn't have a snarky reply for that and instead he stared at her, as if seeing her for the first time.

"Do you really believe that?" he asked, a little incredulous, trying his best to still appear smug. Once again, a distinctly familiar expression flashed through Elsa's face.

'_What, do you think because I never became as sour, as resenting as you, I didn't suffer also?_'

'_Guess again, I did_'

* * *

'_The brief glances I got of Anna each day felt like they would kill me because despite what she believed, she was so free and so lucky and so _loved, _and I couldn't help but envy her a little_'

'_I loved my parents so much but I also hated how fearsome and anxious and _ugly _they made me feel, and I know they didn't mean it but I couldn't help but hating how with every passing day I was told to hide more and more, even from them. And then I hated myself for thinking this way about my family and I kept repeating just how disgusting and selfish I was being inside my head and this thoughts kept me awake at night._'

'_And then mom and dad died and the feeling that I was letting them down more than ever never quite left me for three years_'

'_Anna needed me and I couldn't even reach out for her out of fear of hurting her_'

'_I truly believed I was a monster_'

* * *

"Don't you?" she retorted firmly to avoid touching the still-tender scar.

'_Isn't that what you think of yourself too?_'

Hans lowered his gaze again, lips pursed in a line that made him seem as though he were holding back an answer.

"...OK. You win" he finally conceded, shaking the few remaining snowflakes off his shoulders and wrapping himself in the cocoon of quilts again "I'm listening"

Turned out Anna was right about him being rational above everything else, because once she explained to him that legally and morally, she was under the obligation of holding him there until he ceased to be a danger for society, Hans seemed a lot less defensive than before. He did laugh when Elsa explained to him that she believed human contact, real human contact (In the end she decided to replace the other set of words in hopes of him accepting it with greater ease) would play a huge part in his change, but as she finished her explanations, he still made her more adequate questions.

"Do you really think it can be done? To _me_?" he asked skeptically.

She started softly. There it was again, the highest wager in the matter.

'_I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't_'

"Do _you_?" she bounced back at him, seeing as it had worked the last time he'd made a question she wasn't ready to answer. His expression morphed to something she dared to identify as conflict. She took it as a good sign.

"…there really is nothing in for you by doing this, right?" he asked doubtfully, refusing to voice his thoughts on the other question.

"You tell me" she shrugged casually. It was by far the most humane gesture he'd seen in her and it spoke volumes about her sincerity. He felt the tension of his stomach muscles unknotting the tiniest bit at it.

"Not from where I stand" he admitted with a sour half-smile.

"So the conclusion would be?"

"That I haven't the slightest idea of what is going through your head…but that's OK, I haven't since I first woke up here"

'_Is it just me or does he sound a little…scared?_'

"It's a lot simpler than it seems, Hans" she insisted, her tone terminating "Either you believe me or you don't. Simple as that"

He eyed her gingerly. She'd long since taken the seat next to the bed again and the moonlight lit her from behind, obscuring her expression.

But her eyes glistened. With the same open, sincere light he'd seen in Anna's the day they'd met.

However, the conviction in Elsa's eyes was something he'd never seen. It shone like her ice castle had, it danced like the snow and ice she summoned for her people's enjoyment the day he was shipped back to the Southern Isles. It showed, better than any crown she could ever wear, why she was Queen.

"I believe in you"

He registered the fact that he'd said it out loud a little too late and shut his mouth so quickly he wouldn't have been surprised to have bitten his tongue off, lips pursing into a tense line. He didn't dare to look up at Elsa's face.

If he had, he would have seen gleeful surprise in her features.

"…couldn't this have waited until morning, though?" he added in a surly, embarrassed mumble.

* * *

**CC (A) the author here.**

**Not much to be said about this chapter, except I had planned for it to be a lot shorter and HEY GUESS WHAT CC DID IT AGAIN SHE WROTE SOMETHING THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SUPER SIMPLE AND MADE IT SUPER LONG.**

**Also, as you can see, the shippyness HATH APPEARED. Subtly for now, I don't really like forcing it down people's throats.**

**Comments and reviews are welcome**


	5. Branded

_As you go through life you'll see there is so much that we don't understand  
And the only thing we know is things don't always go the way we plan  
But you'll see everyday that we'll never turn away_  
_When it seems all your dreams come undone_  
_We will stand by your side, filled with hope and filled with pride_  
_We are more than we are, we are one_

_'We are one' by Marty Panzer & Mark Feldman. The Lion King II_

* * *

Hans tied the sash around his waist and looked at himself in the mirror, flooded by a surreal feeling of being dressed in Arandelle's customs rather than his country's. He straightened the navy blue vest and eyed the lonely snowflake embroidery that decorated his chest. He'd recognized it from a medallion around both Kristoff and his reindeer's necks.

The crest of the Snow Queen of Arandelle.

He wanted to either tear it off the clothes or caress it with his fingertips. He'd spent the last weeks since their little sincerity outburst straining his brain to straighten up the contradiction of his feelings on Elsa's actions towards him. On one side there was deep, deep despise for her weakness. A Queen should not let petty reasons such as sentiment stop her from keeping her family and her Kingdom safe –and he was a hazard, she knew that full well or if she didn't she was much a bigger fool than he'd initially thought- and on the other side was a profound admiration. Because submerged as she was in such a bloody, filthy and dark world such as politics, and faced against the great monsters of this world, she remained just as shimmering and immaculate as she had always been. How could she be so weak and yet so strong? The door opened without warning, making Hans start. Kai came in and closed the door, not even bothering to try and hide his smirk. He knew his entering the room without knocking got on Hans nerves, and that was likely the reason he always did it. He scrutinized the clothes, a business-like expression replacing his mirth.

"I see they fit you nicely" he said, straightening the sash the tiniest bit.

"I won't argue on that" Hans said, still inspecting his image. He was still too thin to appear healthy,his reddish hair was longer than he'd ever allowed it to be, the elbow-length sleeves didn't completely cover the scars and markings he'd gotten as a permanent reminder of his time as a prisoner, but taking in account he wasn't a prince anymore but a refugee he still looked quite dashing "But while we're on it, can you tell me why I'm getting new clothes?" Kai told him what he knew, which was more than Hans had expected him to but not quite enough. Apparently, both Elsa and Kristoff had been putting their heads together on his case for the past weeks so it was likely they had finally come up with something worth trying.

"And do you have any idea of what that might be?" Hans pressed. Kai shrugged nonchalantly; the door opening prevented further questions, and who would be standing there but Princess Anna. Her eyes swept the room and fixated on Hans, who despite feeling more than a little wary of her feigned calm. She looked like she had to physically restrain herself from running to him and punching him straight in the face again. She took a deep breath.

"You" she pointed at him and then the hallway behind her in what intended to be an intimidating, brusque manner. Hans glanced at Kai uneasily, but the servant seemed immensely concentrated in doing his bed. Clearly he wasn't going to get any help from him, so he obeyed and stepped out of the room, cautiously eyeing her in case the urge of mauling him became overwhelming. He knew that in his position, should Anna decide to go berserk on him, he wouldn't even get the chance to raise a hand to defend himself without everyone assuming he'd started it, but he wanted to at least spare his face another punch if he could. She motioned for him to follow her with a jerk of her head and started walking, her skirts flowing with every step. Hans followed her, always silent.

He had been following her almost mindlessly for a few minutes when she finally dignified him with a sentence. "They actually do believe you can get better"

He needn't ask who Anna meant.

"It would seem so" he confirmed mildly.

She remained silent for a while, the only sound in the hall being their steps, before continuing.

"I almost wish I could be that optimistic on the matter"

'_So do I_´ Hans almost said. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself for doing so.

"What are you up to, Hans?" she asked, half turning to him, and had not the fire in her eyes betrayed her, he could have sworn she was calm. He allowed himself a weak smirk.

"What makes you think I'm up to something? In fact, what makes you think I'd tell you if I were?"

She frowned and looked straight ahead again.

"You'd do well in remembering this" she made a mild motion to her surroundings "Is all you've got left in the world. Elsa and Kristoff…and me too, I guess, because anything that involves those dear to me involves me" It was his turn to frown, because she was right and that thought had been tormenting him for the past weeks. That the people he'd been so close to having under his boot were now his only links to humanity, the notion itself made his stomach churn in humiliation. He was almost tempted to think that had he known that would be the prize of being freed from his tormentors; he would have gladly stayed in captivity. But no, that was merely a comforting lie he told himself to mask the fact that he was, in fact, thankful for his relative freedom.

"Believe me, I do. At every waking moment"

"Oh, did you expect me to sweet-talk you and feel sorry for you?" Anna mocked dryly "I see no reason to. You got what was coming to you" she made a halt and waved her hands, correcting herself "—or, wait, no, no, because no one deserves slavery, but getting your ass kicked? If anyone deserved that, it was you" she huffed, regaining her step "I guess in any other case I would have contented with what you've suffered so far, but how can I even _start_ forgiving someone who doesn't look one bit sorry for what he's done?"

"You don't" he replied curtly. She was right about not being sorry at all. He wasn't. If he was sorry about anything, it was about not having made sure she was dead and stiff before leaving the room where she was (His own inability to stomach the idea was to blame. He _had_ danced with her and arrived to Arandelle with the firm idea of marrying her, after all) or of having taken his wicked time to swing the sword for Elsa while she was down instead of doing so quickly. But of course, how could anyone raised on the same naïve concepts of kindness and nobility ever understand? How could anyone with no further ambitions than finding love understand the kind of despair, of hopelessness it took to seize any chance, any chance at all to find something better?

'_Except she does. Well, back then she did, and precisely because she just wanted to love someone and feel loved back with the same despair you wanted your own place. She did, after all, accept the marriage proposal from a guy she'd known for…what, three hours straight? Anything that would kill her loneliness. Anything that would kill mine_'

But marrying off in a rush and killing someone simply was not on the same line and he would have been lying to himself had he dared to pretend he didn't realize that.

"I can only be glad things are the way they are, then" Anna stated, somehow tiredly "Because if we can't trust in your gratitude or even humanity to prevent you from stabbing us in the back, we can at least trust your sense of self-preservation to do the job. You can thank Elsa for not having been stabbed in your sleep while you were ill and helpless..." her voice trailed off into a whisper and he had to hurry his step and move his head closer to her to hear what she was saying, her eyes scanning the hallways as if expecting spies on every corner "And believe me, there were attempts. We knew the people didn't remember you very fondly but not many have the resources to hire an assassin, so it would appear nobility doesn't either. Elsa doubled the guards and went as far as keeping watch inside your room after the third attempt on your life. You owe her your life in more than one sense"

Hans blinked, his brow furrowed. The time of his illlness was blurry in his mind but he did remember there came a moment where he couldn't open his eyes without catching a glimpse of white skin and blue fabric and platinum hair in his room. That woman! Whatever had posessed her to do that? He was no stranger to royal assassinations, and he knew how often they could go wrong for whoever tried to interfere in them. The hacks often hired for the job didn't particularly mind getting rid of the obstacles with lethal force.

'_Be that obstacle a woman, or a Queen or a mother..._'

He gritted his teeth and pushed the thought aside. Of course, Elsa had means to defend herself pretty well and he knew it, surely she had never been in real danger. Anna had trailed off into silence as they walked, once again filling the empty halls with just the sound of their steps.

"_What are you up to, Hans?_"

The question repeated itself inside his head, because only then had he come to realize he was, for the first time in forever, up to nothing in particular. Whether he could take advantage of his situation or not, whether he could escape it or negotiate it or end it, it hadn't even crossed his mind. The apathy he'd fallen victim of during the worst part of his illness had receded enough to allow him to function, but it still lay within him, ready to spring and entrap him like quicksand. He was fighting, always fighting, to the point of exhaustion which left him unable to even trying to come up with a plan for the future, even the simplest one, and even trying made him feel mildly asphyxiated. For the moment, he contented with running with the flow, allowing himself occasional and humble pleasures such as getting on Elsa's nerves with either his smugness or inappropriate comments (A pleasure he sometimes paid with a while under a pile of snow or a wave of chilly air that made him shiver like a newborn puppy, but hell, it was well worth it) and his everyday rides around the hills. But apart from that, he felt like he was drifting among the days, going with the flow. He had come to the conclusion that the void he felt was as close as he would ever get to inner peace.

As they approached an important-looking door, Anna came to a sudden halt, forcing him to camber to avoid colliding with her. Her head was slightly lowered in what seemed pensiveness.

"Listen up" she said, her tone surprisingly calm but with an edge he had never heard on her "I'm taking a chance here and assuming you do have a heart instead of that frozen thing sitting in your chest, but…listen, Hans. If you have the tiniest bit of care towards Elsa…if you have the tiniest bit of gratitude for what she's done for you, just…just do this one thing for her, OK?"

He was immediately on guard, eyeing her with a furrowed brow. Of course they wanted something, after all!

"What?"

Anna turned to him, eyes aflame but full of plea.

"Please don't let her down" she all but croaked. All snarky answers he could have given her died in his lips in testimony of the raw, fierce and sincere love in Anna's eyes and an unexpected and unidentifiable pang of displeasure prickled him. He made what could have very well passed for a pout, if not for the tortured gleam of his eyes. Because the love in her eyes told him she was ready to do worse than just punch him if he so much as touched a hair on Elsa's head with an ill intention, but she was all but begging him not to make her break her sister's hopes. And though he had no real reason to do so, nor the intention to, he was suddenly positive that was what he was going to do.

'_Don't ask that kind of thing of me, oh, please don't expect anything from me, I have disappointed everyone who's ever expected greatness from me and that includes myself_'

But she was waiting for an answer and he was not about to start telling her the truth.

"I'll see what I can do" he muttered, his mouth dry. Inwardly cringing at the thought of having said the same to her sister while already arranging ideas in his head to kill her and make it seem like there was no other choice.

'_In my head there really was no other choice back then. What I wanted was just a breath away from me, and all I had to do was grasp it_'

His stomach churned in what he barely dared to identify as fear. Was it a lie that he didn't regret his actions, then? Not only that, but the fact that it was had passed unnoticed even to him? Had he gotten so good at lying that truth had become invisible to him?

Anna studied him for a moment, narrowing her eyes, as if squinting at a blurry picture. "Hold it..." she whispered, and then her eyebrows rose, framing her surprised, wide eyes and she studied him whole, as if looking at him for the first time.

"What?" he asked, scowling. He didn't like being scrutinized, it made him feel exposed despite the fact that he knew how to hide his weaknesses pretty well. But she had already turned and reached for the handle to open the door, motioning for him to follow her before entering. He did so, trying to mask his inner turmoil.

Inside, Elsa was sitting on her desk, scribbling away.

"I do hope both of you were sensible enough not to start a fight in the hallways" she greeted, an eyebrow cocked.

Hans and Anna exchanged a glance.

"What would have been the point? She would have left me unconscious in a second" Hans declared with a half-smirk.

"And you better remember that" Anna muttered, holding back a smile. Hans realized –with unsettling fondness- he knew the gesture because Elsa often did a very similar one.

"Glad to hear that…I guess" Elsa said, not without uneasiness "Now, Hans, you surely wonder the reason why you were brought here"

"Wasn't that just to give Anna the chance to sucker-punch me?" he retorted. Elsa moved her head impatiently and returned to scribble in her papers.

"No. I am granting you a citizenship"

Both Hans's and Anna's jaws dropped.

"What?"

"WHAT?" Anna squeaked "WHY?"

"Yes, why?"

"You will need it for your new job" Elsa replied, seemingly not noticing the effect her words had on her audience.

"New job?"

"HUH?"

"The new clothes are to inform the castle staff and the citizens of your new rank"

"New rank?" Hans repeated, wondering whether the Queen was playing a rather tasteless joke on him.

"Wait, wait, WAIT!" Anna squeaked, making a T with both hands "Elsa, I'm sorry but I really don't get one word of what you just said. Slow down, rewind, _explain_"

Elsa looked up, stared for a second and let out a comprehensive 'Oh' before putting down the pen and crossing her fingers over the table.

"Both of you take a seat and allow me to explain" she said, they obeyed, Anna taking a seat next to her sister and Hans across the desk "Um, goodness, I'll try to keep this simple. You see, during the past weeks, Kristoff has been giving me reports of Hans's improvement" she turned to him "It would appear you told the truth about being rather skilled in horseback riding" Hans shot her a playfully petulant smirk. "What you forgot to tell us was you are also very skilled in the care of horses. The horse I put under your care has gone through a visible transformation, and for the better I may add. It had never looked healthier, in my opinion"

At this, Hans eyed her, unsure. Well, how did they expect horses to develop to their fullest when they kept feeding them all the same things and rations without a care for their size or special needs? He'd had a go or two about that with the head stable-hand, but the boy (Who, by the way, looked like he was younger than most horses in the stable) had shrugged and ignored him. Clearly he didn't particularly care about the animals in his care. So Hans had taken matters in his own hands with his horse, but did that make him skilled? It had just been a matter of using his head.

"So Kristoff suggested I employed you for the training and care of the royal horses and I agreed" Elsa finished, seeming incredibly pleased with herself, which annoyed him.

"There is a minor detail you might have missed" he said "What if I don't want to?"

She countered with a knowing smile and a raised eyebrow.

"Don't you?"

He twisted his mouth, brow furrowed, because she had him on that one. Truth be told, it wasn't an unattractive perspective. He liked horses, he always had, and sitting around in his room for more than half of the day was slowly but surely driving him insane. Having something to do during the day, and something he could do and he enjoyed doing was something he simply hadn't thought would be possible. It was too good a chance to miss.

"Hold it, wait!" Anna interrupted, having held herself back for the most of their conversation "Not that I don't trust Hans, but…wait, no, that's exactly it, I don't trust him. What if he tries to grab one of the horses and escape?"

He dignified that with an answer after a short pause. He'd forgotten Anna lacked Elsa's insight.

'_Rather, her insight of me_'

"Where to?" he replied, turning to her with a bitter smile. Both sisters squirmed on their seats, uncomfortable. He did have a point on that, even if he could run away, he had no money or idea of where he could lead to, and even if he took the risk of riding aimlessly until he found another place to begin anew, the sole idea seemed foolish. He could run away from them but it wouldn't change a thing about his situation.

'_Besides, being here it's not so bad, I guess_' he thought, turning to Elsa again.

"Also, Anna, winter is about to start" Elsa continued, somehow hurriedly "Not only does this mean the surrounding mountains will be almost literally impossible to cross; in Kristoff's line of work, it means vacation and he agreed to keep an eye on Hans for our tranquility"

"Isn't that what guards are for, though?" Anna said, slightly sulky, Elsa reached out to place her hand on her sister's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think...I'm sure you must have been looking forward to spending time with him, Anna, I'm so sorry..."

"No, no, I get it, this guy's a jerk and they might lose what little patience they have and kill him, so Kristoff's the safest choice" Anna hurriedly said, despite still looking slightly sulky. Hans bit back a comment on how, in Kritoff's case, he wasn't sure who was trying whose patience, but it seemed to be somewhere along the middle line.

"Give me some time, I will find someone else to take on the task for a few hours each day so Kristoff and you get some time to yourselves" Elsa promised. Anna smiled mischievously.

"I'll have to content with your company until you do, then!" she giggled, throwing herself towards her sister to catch her into what seemed to be a bone-crushing hug, Elsa tipped slightly to one side, almost falling off her chair, but smiling radiantly all the same. Hans's caught the same thick displeasure from before creeping up on him at the image and had to look away, pretending to be fascinated by the room's tapestry.

And it dawned on him that he was simply resenting the sight of how much these sisters loved each other.

'_No. That's ridiculous_'

Except it wasn't. Putting it simply, he was envious.

The knowledge that Anna would have given her life just to stop him from killing her sister while none of his twelve brothers had so much as uttered a word in his defense when his father decided to give him away as a slave; the knowledge that Elsa, despite everything thought to be wrong with her and her great flaws and her naivety and her mortally strong power that she didn't quite completely control, had friends and the crown and a family, that she had everything he'd ever aspired to, only to have it dangled right in front of his nose before losing sight of it forever…was being rubbed on his face, or so it felt like.

'_All the better for me, though, because these are weaknesses I can't allow myself. I don't need anyone. I don't need friendship or fraternal love, I have fended without them so far and I can do so until the end. I don't need it. I certainly didn't need it back when I had any chance of getting it, there is no way I started needing it now that it's completely out of my reach_'

And yet his fists were tight over his knees.

* * *

Hans's new position and brand new citizenship was announced the next day and he got to work immediately. He knew doing what he had done with the horse put under his care with the rest of the horses wasn't really as hard as it sounded (at least not to him) but he did need to know all of the horses to be able to do so, so by the break of dawn he started riding them and examining them, one by one.

Thirty-something horses and lots of hours later, Kristoff came to find him, Sven's and Hans's horse's reins in his hands.

"Ready for the rematch?" Kristoff asked, pushing the horse's reins into his fingers. Hans rubbed his eyes and handed them back. Kristoff had been demanding rematches like there was no tomorrow ever since he'd first defeated him on a race and that had been days ago.

"I'm working" he replied curtly.

"You've been working all day" Kristoff insisted "You need a break and I want a rematch"

"I want to finish this by today"

"You won't. Trust me, it keeps getting harder to keep it up. It happens with ice too, after the fourth hour in a row everything starts to get blurry and numbers don't add up like they should anymore. Taking a break helps…unless you're willing to accept your victories were just luck"

Hans sighed and threw him an amused glance. "You really want that rematch, don't you?" Kristoff shrugged unapologetically and handed him the reins again.

* * *

After a week of almost non-interrupted work (Almost. Because Kristoff kept coming for a rematch in the afternoon) Hans caught himself waking with the feeling that his extremities were full of lead and an odd, heavy feeling to his head. And despite the fact that it worried him (Hell, he'd been an inch away from death not a month ago, of course it worried him) he told no one and worked the day away, ignoring the fact that the sunlight hurt his eyes, his throat was slightly soar and even the tiniest efforts had him panting and covered in sweat in no time. He was close to lose to Kristoff in their afternoon race and his rival somehow uneasily asked him whether he was OK.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were worried about me" Hans mockingly said, rubbing the salty sweat off his eyes. Kristoff rolled his eyes.

"Don't make it weird, sideburns, I'm just saying you don't look so well today"

"I'm fine" Hans chuckled out of his sore throat.

Kristoff didn't insist.

That afternoon, Hans entered his room and was surprisingly enough greeted by a rather unhappy-looking Queen Elsa.

"Oh, brother, what did I do this time?" he grumbled, throwing himself face-first onto the bed. There was an odd pressure inside his head and his own breath felt uncomfortably warm in his throat. Elsa mumbled something he didn't catch, so he tipped his head to the side to look at her. "Come again?"

"Kristoff tells me you might be pushing yourself too hard"

He took a moment to digest the fact that Kristoff had in fact been worried, and worried enough to go to Elsa about his thoughts before replying

"Well, I can't just sit put all day anymore. You gave me a job, remember?"

"Are you tired?"

"Are your hands cold?" he retorted, sarcastically. She heard her stifle a gasp and a whoosh of icy wind licked at his back, making him squirm and roll off the bed.

'_Still worth it_'

"Not quite as tired, it seems" she continued, not noticing.

"I'm never tired for you, my Queen" he wheezed from the ground. She let out a groan.

"Will you ever get tired of that kind of distasteful behavior?"

"Not likely" he replied, getting to his feet, ignoring the soreness of his body "It's the most fun I have these days" She gave a sigh.

"I was asking you an honest question, Hans, all I ask is for you to reply properly"

He breathed out and eyed her, briefly considering telling her about the unnerving soreness of his body.

'_Well, to what purpose? Do you honestly think she cares?_'

'_She is asking, therefore she must care_'

_'Or she feels obligated to do so because of Kristoff's comments. Let's not forget this is Queen Elsa goody-two shoes, for Goodness sake_'

"I'm fine" he finally conceded. She threw him a tired half-glare and this prompted him to continue "And what do you care, anyway?'

"You are one of us now, Hans, like it or not we are going to be looking out for you" she cringed slightly after the words left her mouth, as if sorry she'd said them. A pause came, as awkward as the ones the past weeks had held for them. She'd never really stopped visiting him after his afternoon rides, but the visits had become something close to obligation, and she was close to being a disaster when it came to conversation that didn't include the impersonal forms of diplomacy; it seemed as though the last outburst of sincerity had dried them both up of their communication capacities. So they had the kind of mindless conversation people had when they didn't know what to say but couldn't stay silent. It became harder by the minute to find something unimportant to talk about.

'_And avoid saying something sensible_' Hans thought.

Despite this, he had been able to learn a bit more about the Queen, given his observation and deduction skills, an ability he'd been proud of most of his life. He'd been extremely careful as to not let the fact that he was analyzing her show. She could grow wary of him if she realized, and with good reason.

"...well, I—"Elsa started hurriedly.

"I want to take a bath so—" Hans shifted his weight, uncomfortable. He hadn't even noticed how anxious her outburst had made him until then.

"Yes. Yes, certainly, you would need it after—"

"Yeah, I've been working all day in the stables so..."

"I should probably—"

"You should, yeah"

Elsa hurried to the door and grabbed the handle, but stopped right before turning it.

"Hans, just—" her shoulders raised defensively, as if preparing for a blow, but she didn't turn to see him "Just…don't push yourself too hard. Take...take care of yourself"

And she all but ran away from the room. Hans looked at the thin layer of ice she'd left in her tracks and huffed, brushing back the bangs form his face.

_"You are one of us now" _his mind echoed. He couldn't help but think that was just empty wording. He knew how it worked, he was one of them until he screwed up again or until they stopped wanting something from him. And then he'd be part of nothing again.

Sometimes knowing how things worked really sucked.

* * *

"It's just a slight fever relapse, nothing to really worry about" the Doctor assured.

Elsa drummed her fingers over her arm nervously. The floor under her feet was covered with a thin layer of frost.

"Are you sure about that?" she inquired, half-turning to look at Hans, still asleep on the bed, a small bandage fastened to his forehead where his head had bumped against the floor. She had once read infections had the trend of coming back again and again, so when Kristoff stormed into her study an hour or two earlier, telling her how Hans had all but fainted at the stables with a fever so high it was surprising he'd even left bed that morning, her first thought was that the infection had come back.

"They are common with infections, but rarely worsen. I was more worried about his fall from the horse" the Doctor continued "But it seems he's got quite the hard constitution, he got away with bruises and scratches. He'll just need to stay in bed for the rest of the day and take it easy on his routine for a few days, you needn't worry"

"Good" Elsa said, taking a deep breath, but the ice in the floor around her feet simply refused to leave.

'_I am going to kill him for making me worry_'

A line of spikes formed in the sheet of ice as she flinched.

'_Wait, what?_'

* * *

Hans would have been lying had he tried to pretend the fact of laying in bed for most of the day had bothered him, his body did ache something horrible, but he was slightly put off by what his relapse seemed to had done for his interactions with other people. Kristoff dropped by his bedside for a few minutes with what, in any other circumstances, would have passed as friendly concern and casually dropped some advise as to how to deal with bumps in his head and generaly weakness; Anna had followed soon after her beloved left, bringing him a tray with water and some soup and then running as if for dear life. Kai arrived soon after and helped him sit up and eat the soup, patiently waiting when nausea made Hans stop eating and push a hand against his lips. Gerda had brought him a cup of heavily-scented infusion and helped him drinking it down. Hell, even the guard he'd called monkey had peeked inside his room at some point, as if checking on him.

Hadn't it been so baffling, it would have been touching.

Elsa was by his bedside as soon as her duties allowed her, despite his weak protests that he didn't need babysitting, whose lack of energy had the effect of convincing her that he did need it. She had brought a book with her, the dark blue covers empty of a title to give him a hint what it was about. It must have been good, though, because she was caught up in it quickly. Hans drifted into a calm sleep, the ruffling of turning pages and her calm breathing lulling him.

* * *

_Suddenly he was a boy again, all freckles and skinny limbs and he had the living quarters of the castle all to himself. The halls were high and silent and ominous but he was glad to have them to himself, at least for the day, as he leaped over the sofas and carpets, play-pretending that the tiled floor was flooded in lava._

_ A slight cough behind one of the closed doors stopped him mid-track, cringing at the thought of being caught playing like that. But when the cough repeated, this time a long access, followed by a soft wheezing, he raced to the door worry giving his steps a spring, and pried it open. _

_"Shall I bring you some water?" he asked, his head peeking inside. His voice was tiny, very much how he felt looking inside the dimly lit room where only the bed and a figure laying on it where clearly visible. _

_"_Min lille_, what are you doing here?" his mother hoarsely but kindly called, patting the side of the bed, inviting him to sit by her side "I thought your father had organized a hunt trip in the neighboring kingdom" _

_"I don't like hunting" Hans replied nonchalantly, accepting the invitation. His feet dangled from the sides of the bed. His mother caressed his freckly cheek fondly, a slightly reproachful expression filling her features. _

_"That may be true, but something else happened, didn't it?" _

_He averted his eyes, brow furrowed. She always knew when he was lying. Unlike the rest, who just assumed he always did. _

_"The King said a runt like me can't ride his horses" he mumbled. _

_"Oh, dear, don't be upset. He must have been worried you'd hurt yourself if you fell off the horse" _

_"That's what Bo said too, but Alexei said it was because I'd just make them feel embarrassed if I went. That people would make fun of them because they had a dwarf in their hunting party" _

_His mother sighed, bringing the same hand that had caressed him to her forehead. _

_"Did he, now?" _

_"And Egil said-" _

_"Don't listen to anything Egil says" her mother tiredly countered before continuing in a gentler tone "Your brother has a peculiar sense of humor, he doesn't know when to stop joking" _

_What she didn't know was that he knew when she was lying too. And that even at his short age he already could recognize the malice in the eyes of his brother. _

_"He said it was my fault you were sick to begin with, so I had to stay and take care of you" _

_Her mortified expression made him wish he'd stayed silent. Truth be told, he couldn't understand how his mother's weak health was supposed to be his fault when she had been like that for as long as he could remember, but somehow her reaction to his words made him feel like he'd discovered something he wasn't supposed to._

_"But that's OK, I like…I like being with you" he assured, and it was true. Even if the King had allowed him to accompany them, he would have spent the journey worried about her. She reached out for his hair and ruffled it softly. _

_"You are such a good boy, Hans. But surely you must be bored out of your mind, things as they are, I can't even play with you" she sighed again "I wish one of your brothers had stayed behind so you wouldn't be lonely" _

_He pursed his lips to stop himself from saying it wasn't like having his brothers home or not made any difference in him being lonely. _

_"Back in the library, I saw a book that seemed interesting" he said instead "I'll bring you some water and bring the book so we can read for a while, how does that sound?" _

_Her smile was as warm as it was sad. He could see the tears in her eyes and the knowledge that he couldn't make them go away made him feel like a useless runt more than ever. _

_"I would like that, _min kjære lille_" she replied with a strangled voice._

* * *

Hans awoke slowly, switching from the dream in which he was sitting on his mother's bed, reading for her until the restless coughing became soft breathing, to reality with the mildness of a day becoming a night. Elsa was still there, reading, despite the fact that the lighting of the room told him it had been hours since she'd arrived already. And just as he was wondering whether she had nothing better to do it dawned on him that he had no idea of what she usually did for the day. Taking advantage of the fact that she didn't seem to have noticed what he was doing, he gazed at her under furrowed brows, his eyes inevitably wavering to the white expansion of soft-looking skin the slit in her dress showed.

Why did she wear that for the castle, though? More than one must have run into a wall after crossing her in a hallway for not keeping his eyes on the road.

"How are you feeling?" she inquired, her eyes still on the book. He blinked sleepily; so she had been alert after all! He'd always found women's capacity to keep their attention equally distributed between two or more tasks fascinating.

'_I'm just lucky she didn't notice what I was looking at_'

"Groggy" he replied, moving to sit up on the bed. She put down her book and poured him some water on a glass, handing it to him. The pleasant chill in the water helped him clear his head a little and take his head off her leg "You probably have better things to do than sit by my bedside, so I'd be thankful if you just left me to sleep by myself"

He wished she'd just do it. Suddenly the book she held seemed like a painful reminder. She hesitantly raised a hand, before asserting herself enough to place the back of it on the side of his face, right above the cheekbones. It took all of his might not to squirm away from her touch, the last thing he wanted was anyone touching him with the memory of his mother's gentle caressing so fresh in his mind.

"You still feel slightly feverish" she said, removing her hand.

"Nothing that more sleep and maybe a bath won't fix, so thank you, you can leave now" he retorted, hoping the edge of his voice would make her catch the hint that for the moment all he wanted was to be alone. She didn't, seemingly.

"I'm here out of my own free will, giving me permission to leave is pointless"

"Oh, OK then. Would you PLEASE leave?"

For all answer, she picked up the book again and obstinately kept her eyes on it. He took a deep breath.

"Don't you have papers to sign or something like that?" he grumbled, dropping on the pillows again.

"I do believe that to be my business and not yours" she mumbled back firmly but not unkindly, as if reprimanding a child. He felt his fists tightening at her tone and bit back what would have surely been a fiery reply, contenting with turning on the bed so that his back was turned on her. He knew he was being childish, but since he was being treated like a child anyway, he found no reason not to.

'_Why won't she leave, though?_'

He gave it a good pondering, based on what little he knew about Elsa.

Number one: She never lied. A lifetime of lying to Anna cured her of whatever dishonest impulses she ever had. But that wasn't relevant at the moment, so; Number two: She was an idealist. Not much to say about that except he didn't know how someone could get as old as 21 and stay an idealist. Number three: She was too kind for her own good. It was a redundant statement, taking in account how she was dealing with the man who tried to kill her and her sister and take over her Kingdom, but how she kept her kindness even in a much smaller scale made him appreciate it a bit more. Sure, he still thought what she was doing for him bordered with stupidity and obeyed the same twisted sense of sacrifice that had inspired her to recluse even from her family. But it was harder to give his thoughts heed when in presence of such a seemingly pure, uninterested gentleness.

Maybe that was why he found himself believing in her –Him! Him, who had long since renounced to such useless practices as faith or confidence in others! To find himself putting them in…in a goody-two-shoes, no less!

'_Not only did you start trusting her, you also told her you did_'

He made what could have well-passed for a pout. Maybe his brothers hadn't been too mistaken to call him stupid as he grew up, because he couldn't find another adjective for that kind of behavior. As if summoned by his thoughts, the faces of his family paraded into his mind, along with many questions. How where the bunch of bastards managing? And his father…?

The back of a cold hand made its way to his cheek again and he all but sat up in one leap, his head swimming at the effort.

"Sorry" Elsa gasped, backing away "I thought you were asleep"

"So you thought it was OK to give me inappropriate attention he murmured smiling weakly "Remind me to lock my door at night to save you the temptation of furthering this"

She glared at him, cheeks red with anger and embarrassment. Number four: The fastest way to make her leave him alone was making her uncomfortable.

"I was merely checking on your temperature" she mumbled, picking up her book to –finally!- leave "It appears you were right. It still is high, but nothing a night's proper rest can't cure"

A gust of ice-cold air, complete with some snowflakes hit him straight in the face. Number five: Making her uncomfortable came with a price.

"That ought to cool you off faster, though. I'll take my leave now" she calmly finished as she walked to the door. He could practically see the smug little smile in her face.

"You needn't have stayed in the first place" he called, unable to hold himself back, as he brushed the snowflakes off him "I was never in danger, it's just a fever"

She halted and turned to see him, this time openly scowling.

"Did everything I said to you yesterday enter throught one ear and come out the other?" she snapped "Your level of pig-headedness still surprises me! Kristoff was scared colorless when you fainted and I was worried sick that you'r infection might have-!"

"Hold it, hold it, hold it, _what_?" Hans interrupted, wondering whether he'd heard right. She cut herself, realizing what she had said, but shrugged.

"Well, yes, it's true! We feared the worst when you fainted, all of us did" she continued,wrapping her arms around her own body "We were worried about you, why is that so hard to understand?"

He pinned his eyes to his feet, unable to reply. THe faces of those who had visited him during the day crossed his mind. Kristoff, Anna, Kai and Gerda and the guard...

'_Worried about me_'

He would have liked to doubt what Elsa had said, but unfortunately for him, he realized he knew the look in their eyes as each one of them came into his room. Because years or ages ago one little redheaded, freckly boy had wore the same look when entering his mother's room.

And it dawned on him with such clarity that he wondered why he hadn't thought so before. She had stayed with him not because he needed her to, but because he was now a citizen of Arandelle and the Royal Horse Trainer and a guest in her castle and he wore her crest and...

Elsa took a deep breath, calming down.

"But that's enough for now. You need to rest. Go back to sleep as you wished" she turned to leave.

"That book you're reading…" Hans started on impulse. She stopped and half-turned to see him.

"What about it?"

"…what is it about?"

She seemed genuinely surprised.

"Do you like reading?"

He shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

"If I have to stay in bed for the rest of the day, I'd like to have something to keep my mind busy"

She eyed him, then the book…and then threw it towards his face. He dodged it barely in time and it landed to his side with a _thump_.

"You tell me, pig-head" she said with a smirk before leaving. Hans picked up the book, the scent of paper and leather covers and ink surprisingly soothing to him.

"_You are one of us now, Hans, like it or not we are going to be looking out for you_"

He chuckled weakly. His brothers were right, he was stupid.

Because, at least for the moment, he was willing ot believe he was part of something.

* * *

**CC (a) the author here.**

**CHEESY CHAPTER IS CHEESY ****AHHH THIS CHAPTER TOOK ME SO LONG I WOULDN'T BLAME THE FOLLOWERS IF THEY'D GIVEN UP ON THE FIC I ALMOST DID MYSELF.**

**But, here you go, finally! I feel it's a little unpolished...I left it like that because otherwise I'd end up re-writting it again (I REWROTE IT LIKE THREE OR FOUR TIMES) I know it feels a little pointless but I promise it's actually leading up to a good point.**

**Anyway, I jumped into the Mama's boy!Hans bandwagon, because it makes sense in a Norman Bates-ly kind of way, hehe. Also KRISTOFF IS SUCHA SWEETHEART and Anna mah bby, she's trying.**

**Comments and critiques are welcome!**

**(btw, folks, I just wanted to say thank you for the support and that if someone is interested in making some art for the fic, I'd be more than thrilled)**


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